Have you ever wondered sometimes if you are just imagining things or you really smell or see poo?
Well, lucky for me it's everywhere I go.
I walk into the restroom at work, with all of the stalls empty, I always have to choose the one with the unflushed goodies in it! Blaeeeckkkkkk.....
So I have 2 desks at work (don't ask me why). It has become a weird yet strangely familiar habit of mine to have a bottle of air freshener at my desk. Yes, at times, I will get a whiff of poo smell and I wanna die! It could be the fact that I sit near a restroom...but man, whoever graces their presence with their poo must have bad lunches all the time! So I pretend that I am freshening up and spray rose water all over my area...muahahahah
Right now...I am sitting at my other desk...no restroom nearby, not even a Treadmill nearby (ahahhaha), and I SMELL POO! So did the guy next to me fart or something?!? And not only once, three or four times! I just took out a bottle of lotion I am sniffing it.
Am I gonna get high on lotion and air fresheners??
Oh boy...
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2 comments:
OMG...poor you!!! And this is exactly why I have a phobia of bathrooms.. :P
Morticians, coroners, and forensic pathologists are constantly in the presence of rotting corpses, and yet their close proximity to them (and their smells) don't phase them. When they first begin their jobs, they might dab some scented balm under their nostrils in order to mask the smell, but after years at their profession, they simply become desensitized to it.
Perhaps your sensitivity to poo is caused by your constant exposure to sweet smelling things, such as your air freshener and scented lotions. I bet if you farted in front of a forensic pathologist's face, it would be like a breath of fresh air to him. He would welcome it and inhale deeply. "Thank you," he would say, "for farting in front of my face. That corpse was just getting to be too much."
Maybe what you need to do is not avoid poo, but embrace it. Better yet, embrace rotting flesh. I don't suggest embracing human corpses - that's just creepy. Speaking from experience, however, rotting chicken meat smells pretty bad, and arguably worse than poo.
So go out to your supermarket! Find some expiring chickens and take them home. Unwrap them and leave them in a cool damp place - your bathtub, for example - for a week. Finally take a bath with them - for the next few days. I bet you you'll be begging your friends to fart in your face after that.
Just stay away from me; I'd hate to smell you.
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